the journal

david @ rh_circles

Down to the core

with 11 comments

is how I would like to be changed.  With all of my planning and connecting the dots, I find myself insufficient to face the future alone.  Like Joseph, I want to be transformed, living in the favor of God, that He may become greater, and that I might become less.  So many times I find myself trying to predict the future, imagining how my life will turn out, rather than trusting the Lord and taking every moment to listen to His voice.

That evening when we discussed how Joseph came to see his dream realized, standing before his brothers that bowed before him- the flash of memories at that moment must have reminded him of God’s faithfulness in his life.  And then came the weeping.  For some reason, that night I felt as though I had deeply wronged God, as though I had hurt a close and faithful friend.  I can’t understand or explain it completely, but I know part of the reason is that with all of the faithfulness that God had shown me in my life, I still didn’t “get” him.  I know we can’t ever figure him out, but I felt as though I didn’t even know this person, the one who loved me and gave himself for me.

Down to the core is how I would like to be changed.  I find myself so self-centered, so concerned about what I think, what I know, and what I am doing.  And it’s not even about materialistic things.  So much of my treasure lies in the accumulation of knowledge and whether I have an opinion about this or that.  And it’s not even about having those “fear-of-missing-out” moments.  I want to let go of even those experiences, if it will result in my own self-indulgence.  Friends are important, and awesome experiences in life are important, too.  But so is God, and infinitely more.  I want to stop living, and let Christ live in me.  I have been crucified with Christ.  It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.

Advertisements

Written by David

April 9, 2011 at 2:49 pm

Posted in Circles

11 Responses

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. I can see your beautiful heart brother! 🙂

    Praying for God to show you how and enable those things that you desire!

    Billy

    April 10, 2011 at 5:41 pm

  2. Love the way you left this. “let Christ live in me”. Excellent way to set your heart. I agree about the power of that message, it really brought some interesting thoughts for me to process. I think one of the hardest things to do is let go of control and give it all to God. Glad to see you are taking the first step and admitting you want to give it all. Encouraging.

    rbrtolguin

    April 12, 2011 at 3:45 pm

  3. mmmm, so good. so so so good. Praying for you in this David! May the Lord change you down to the core and may you feel His favor 🙂

    Corinne Paget

    April 12, 2011 at 6:49 pm

  4. This is awesome David. I love it. I too would love to meet up and talk. I long for this, to be so greatly decreased in my own life that God has all the freedom to increase. I too want God to live in me. Love you brother.

    Brennan

    April 13, 2011 at 7:56 pm

  5. I can’t even begin to describe how much I can relate to this blog. I seek knowledge and control and influence. I am constantly strainging to see where God is taking me next and I do everything in my power to control that direction. I love what you said about wanting Christ to live in you. I echo that prayer with all my heart and I am praying for you as well. Thank you so much for sharing.

    Bri Lynaugh

    April 14, 2011 at 6:23 pm

  6. “I want to stop living, and let Christ live in me.” That’s totally beautiful David! I’ve actually been studying Galatians with some friends, and have been thinking about this idea a lot…what does it mean to actually DIE to ourselves and to the world? To allow the Holy Spirit to lead our lives…to not squelch that still, quiet voice b/c of our own desire to control EVERYTHING? A lot of really good stuff to think about. Thank you for sharing!

    Blair

    April 14, 2011 at 8:59 pm

  7. I totally agree with Blair. I too have been thinking about the idea of what it means to die to ourselves and to the world. I so desperately seek this and want to find it. I just wanted to let you know that I am on the journey with you Dave. Thanks for sharing!

    Lindsey Kingsland

    April 15, 2011 at 3:05 pm

  8. I want to be changed down to the core too! thank you so much for writing what is on your heart.

    Jenna

    April 18, 2011 at 1:35 pm

  9. “i find myself insufficient to face the future alone”-this kind of humility is exactly what God is looking for! For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. (2chron. 16:9)

    dannah

    April 25, 2011 at 1:41 pm

  10. yes, yes, yes. the beautiful thing though about the feeling of having wronged God is that that is the Holy Spirit convicting you and, hopefully, the first step in turning around, in repentance. we hurt, now we change. now we heal.

    Bayley

    April 26, 2011 at 7:37 am

  11. dude. i am rightttt there with you WORD FOR WORD. to the core. great way of putting it. read my most recent blog. i think we have a lot of similarities in what we’re asking God to do in our lives. so good.

    Zach

    May 6, 2011 at 5:03 pm


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: